Life is strange. If you figure out soon enough what You want to be in life and what makes you happy and you stick to it you are one lucky bastard! And I envy you dearly 🙂 I wish I had that.
When You Know Nothing
Since early childhood I had absolutely no clue what I wanted to be in life. Even in elementary school I made things up. When teacher used to ask „What do you want to be when you grow up?“ I just would say „I want to sell Ice cream“, cause my child logic was plain and simple: I like Ice cream and back in the day there were those awesome looking Ice cream booths, shaped like an Ice cream cones, which to my child eyes were just so amazing and the coolest thing ever. So yeah, Ice cream selling was „the Dream“ I made up just because I had to say something. And what do you know, almost 20 years later I am living my „Dream“… I didn’t sell Ice cream though 🙂 but I was in retail business, selling stuff alright. I remember that moment when I actually realized that I was living my made up childhood dream I felt… well… it was a bizarre and really sad feeling. So here I was 28-year old person, who was depressed and did not know what to do with her life anymore. I was the Hedgehog in the mist (old Russian cartoon).
I needed The Change
As far as I understood I had to change something or to accept fact that I was going to be a salesperson for the rest of my days. And don’t get me wrong, the job itself can be interesting and fun. I met bunch of super nice people while working in retail and I know people who are happy doing it and wouldn’t trade it for anything else, but I knew it wasn’t for me, because the monotony and stagnation of personal growth were killing me slowly. I just was fed up with whole customer service and all it’s glory. So eventually I decided to risk it all and I quit my job. It took me two whole months to gather myself again. Thank all the Gods and Goddesses I have the most wonderful man beside my side, who stood beside me and supported me through all this sh*tty time. Who, by the way, is the one who forced me to try 3D art 🙂 Yes, I was so stubborn I needed to be forced to try it (I know…). I always said I was too stupid for such things and just now I understand what a complete and utter idiot I was to not to try it sooner. So anyways, in May 2015 I had my first encounter with 3D, which was scary and exhilarating at the same time. I entered the whole new world and I fell in love with it instantly. I felt like I was finally at home:)
I guess what I am trying to say here, that it is OK not to know what you want from life. It is OK to struggle. Just don’t make my mistake, you must keep searching and trying new things, because once you find your element you will feel incredible, I can promise you that!